It has been 14 days since my last coffee (or chocolate) and I feel ... OK ... not great, not fantastic, not brimming with a new found energy or clarity or any other wondrous side effects from my New Year commitment to cleanse and detox. Maybe I am still detoxing? After all I have been having that morning coffee for ... thirty-odd years ( bar pregnancy and breast feeding) and admittedly it was always a double shot, and if I ever went to a cafe and got a substandard cup I would feel incensed, irritable and unfulfilled! I even invested in a small expresso machine so I could make my morning brew just the way i liked it and also save money ( drinking a coffee out every day was costing me ... about $1,200 per annum!). 

There is no doubt in my mind that caffeine is a powerful drug and of course you only have to Google it to come up with plenty of information on its effects on the body whilst you are drinking it and when you withdraw from it. It is acknowledged as the most widely consumed psycho-active drug and has the same pharmacological effects as many substances we associate with doing harm. It causes an over activation of the central nervous system, increasing blood flow through the kidneys and lungs, passing through the blood-brain barrier to constrict cerebral blood vessels causing such symptoms as insomnia, a rise in body temperature, an increased heart rate and dehydration. 

On reflection I feel as though my body clock rhythms are adjusting, I am feeling less anxiety, without those heart palpitations and tremors ... and a rise in body temperature is definitely not what a peri-menopausal woman needs! I'm feeling spurred on to continue feeding my body lots of beautiful raw food straight from the garden, green smoothies (recipe below), fresh juices, nuts and salads ... until the warm weather gives way to winter! 

I started on this path when my daughter requested that instead of having a big party for her 21st, she wanted to go on a health retreat and do a detox with yoga and massages and facials etc!! Sounds good to me ! I did not question her any further on this quite unexpected request, just felt somewhat privileged ( she was a nightmare teen!) and started to do the research. It appears that it is cheaper to go overseas and do a detox ( Thailand was looking good!). Then I came across an article by Walter Last, a retired biochemist , nutritionist , research chemist and natural therapist based in Australia "The Hidden Cause of Cancer and Autoimmune Diseases", http://www.health-science-spirit.com and the importance of a "..high quality diet with periodic raw-food cleansing ..." ; and I am considering doing his 'ultimate cleanse' ... considering..., I mean check it out !! 

My themes/ thoughts/ inclinations this month obviously are focusing on commitment. I am pleased with my efforts thus far not to cave in the face others around me demolishing the usual fare, and I am glad that i chose to do it gradually, building up to removing, from this monday : dairy, wheat and meat. This I am committing to! (then maybe The Ultimate ...). If I had gone cold turkey with all those food groups ( are processed foods and lollies a food group?) I would most likely have bailed after a couple of days.

I feel like I'm coming at this year from all angles. I am practicing being impeccable with my word ( I'm not a gossip but I have this nasty little mini-me voice in my head who has got used to speaking negatively about my efforts ...). I also managed to meditate every day this week ... can i keep that up ? (shut up mini doubter...I've always struggled with the meditations, I often fall asleep, my back aches and I find myself sliding down into the horizontal position...). I coached a client this week who was struggling to articulate any kind of commitment, but felt things shifting and moving in the days that followed,which was exciting. I took some steps with my business. I did a yoga class. I cleaned the house. Doing stuff and ticking boxes.

Then I read an article in The Guardian; "Top 5 regrets of the dying"  ( see link on my Facebook page): they wished they...
1. had been true to themselves ( working on that too)
2 .hadn't worked so hard ( predominantly men said this, I can say unequivocally that i am not a workaholic!)
3. had expressed their feelings (on it)
4. stayed in tough with friends  (Yea FaceBook!)
5. let themselves be happier (it's a choice!)

And I decided I was going to be happy with the commitments and choices I'd made this week ( and year) and keep going, through the 'can't quite give you any results' phase because I'm in it, and (like the fourth agreement) I'm doing the best I can right now! Tomorrow that might be better , or it might be worse. Right now I feel ... content, if not definitive, and comfortable with uncertainty and ... here is a recipe for a delicious Green Smoothie ... 

My green smoothie : In a blender throw a bunch of leafy greens( spinach, silver beet, lettuce, mint, parsley...) a bit of cucumber chopped , broccoli ... ADD a banana ( frozen and very ripe is good) , berries ( frozen and/or fresh) mango ... basically whatever fruit is seasonal and available ... ADD H2O to cover .... PLUS your choice of super foods ; acai berry, maca powder, spirulina, chia seeds ... and BLEND UNTIL smooth. 
    
         Enjoy , feel all the antioxidants and cellulose hit you blood , hear it sigh with satisfaction. AAAhhh! I'm alive!