This is your new blog post. Click here and start typing, or drag in elements from the top bar.

I posted this on my FB page and got a string of responses. Gossip happens in big cities too, but in a small town it can cause enormous stress. I really hate gossip. Don't be seduced into even listening to it, its like eating a cheap pizza too fast , it doesn't satisfy it, just makes you feel ill.

Life in a small town …

To the usual suspects … remember that there are always two sides to every story, and sometimes more. So to continue to spread slander, lies (which can become a legal matter) and misinformation, when you only have access to the biased opinions of one party is foolish, and reveals you for who you are.  To the Fag Ash Lil’s (let’s face it, it’s usually females who love to do all the nasty legwork of spreading poison) who delight in perpetuating toxic gossip, cackling at their favourite watering hole or the fruit & vegie section of the IGA  (unfortunately with the ubiquitous seduction of a juicy bit of goss you’ll find it happening at every aisle at the supermarket). Get a life! Stop behaving like fourteen-year-old schoolgirls under the illusion that by gossiping you are bonding. There are so many good things or important matters you could be putting your energy towards other than putting the metaphorical knife in other people’s backs and energetically that is what you are doing.  The proposed antimony mine in Dorrigo is right in our backyard for one.  Use your energy to make a difference, not to weigh in on matters that are none of your business. Other people’s mistakes or their pain is not for your entertainment.  And if you insist on filling your head with superfluous negativity – watch a reality show on TV!  The Good Book says to judge not lest you also be judged. When you point the finger at someone, you have three fingers pointing back at you!

Peace & Love. (really)



P.S. I am still off the caffeine !

It has been 14 days since my last coffee (or chocolate) and I feel ... OK ... not great, not fantastic, not brimming with a new found energy or clarity or any other wondrous side effects from my New Year commitment to cleanse and detox. Maybe I am still detoxing? After all I have been having that morning coffee for ... thirty-odd years ( bar pregnancy and breast feeding) and admittedly it was always a double shot, and if I ever went to a cafe and got a substandard cup I would feel incensed, irritable and unfulfilled! I even invested in a small expresso machine so I could make my morning brew just the way i liked it and also save money ( drinking a coffee out every day was costing me ... about $1,200 per annum!). 

There is no doubt in my mind that caffeine is a powerful drug and of course you only have to Google it to come up with plenty of information on its effects on the body whilst you are drinking it and when you withdraw from it. It is acknowledged as the most widely consumed psycho-active drug and has the same pharmacological effects as many substances we associate with doing harm. It causes an over activation of the central nervous system, increasing blood flow through the kidneys and lungs, passing through the blood-brain barrier to constrict cerebral blood vessels causing such symptoms as insomnia, a rise in body temperature, an increased heart rate and dehydration. 

On reflection I feel as though my body clock rhythms are adjusting, I am feeling less anxiety, without those heart palpitations and tremors ... and a rise in body temperature is definitely not what a peri-menopausal woman needs! I'm feeling spurred on to continue feeding my body lots of beautiful raw food straight from the garden, green smoothies (recipe below), fresh juices, nuts and salads ... until the warm weather gives way to winter! 

I started on this path when my daughter requested that instead of having a big party for her 21st, she wanted to go on a health retreat and do a detox with yoga and massages and facials etc!! Sounds good to me ! I did not question her any further on this quite unexpected request, just felt somewhat privileged ( she was a nightmare teen!) and started to do the research. It appears that it is cheaper to go overseas and do a detox ( Thailand was looking good!). Then I came across an article by Walter Last, a retired biochemist , nutritionist , research chemist and natural therapist based in Australia "The Hidden Cause of Cancer and Autoimmune Diseases", http://www.health-science-spirit.com and the importance of a "..high quality diet with periodic raw-food cleansing ..." ; and I am considering doing his 'ultimate cleanse' ... considering..., I mean check it out !! 

My themes/ thoughts/ inclinations this month obviously are focusing on commitment. I am pleased with my efforts thus far not to cave in the face others around me demolishing the usual fare, and I am glad that i chose to do it gradually, building up to removing, from this monday : dairy, wheat and meat. This I am committing to! (then maybe The Ultimate ...). If I had gone cold turkey with all those food groups ( are processed foods and lollies a food group?) I would most likely have bailed after a couple of days.

I feel like I'm coming at this year from all angles. I am practicing being impeccable with my word ( I'm not a gossip but I have this nasty little mini-me voice in my head who has got used to speaking negatively about my efforts ...). I also managed to meditate every day this week ... can i keep that up ? (shut up mini doubter...I've always struggled with the meditations, I often fall asleep, my back aches and I find myself sliding down into the horizontal position...). I coached a client this week who was struggling to articulate any kind of commitment, but felt things shifting and moving in the days that followed,which was exciting. I took some steps with my business. I did a yoga class. I cleaned the house. Doing stuff and ticking boxes.

Then I read an article in The Guardian; "Top 5 regrets of the dying"  ( see link on my Facebook page): they wished they...
1. had been true to themselves ( working on that too)
2 .hadn't worked so hard ( predominantly men said this, I can say unequivocally that i am not a workaholic!)
3. had expressed their feelings (on it)
4. stayed in tough with friends  (Yea FaceBook!)
5. let themselves be happier (it's a choice!)

And I decided I was going to be happy with the commitments and choices I'd made this week ( and year) and keep going, through the 'can't quite give you any results' phase because I'm in it, and (like the fourth agreement) I'm doing the best I can right now! Tomorrow that might be better , or it might be worse. Right now I feel ... content, if not definitive, and comfortable with uncertainty and ... here is a recipe for a delicious Green Smoothie ... 

My green smoothie : In a blender throw a bunch of leafy greens( spinach, silver beet, lettuce, mint, parsley...) a bit of cucumber chopped , broccoli ... ADD a banana ( frozen and very ripe is good) , berries ( frozen and/or fresh) mango ... basically whatever fruit is seasonal and available ... ADD H2O to cover .... PLUS your choice of super foods ; acai berry, maca powder, spirulina, chia seeds ... and BLEND UNTIL smooth. 
    
         Enjoy , feel all the antioxidants and cellulose hit you blood , hear it sigh with satisfaction. AAAhhh! I'm alive!

The Year of the Water Dragon! I dive into the Chinese New Year with the intention of being true to myself, trusting my own intuition and seeking my own wisdom. I am welcomed by rain. More rain and yet more … plus damp, mould, washing that won’t dry, a dog running in and out of the house with muddy paws and fat leeches filled with blood. Another El Nina in Bellingen brings the first flood of 2012 and sees the half way point of my driveway turn into a gushing river, my rural outlook become the Lake District.  Luckily I have a full fridge, as I am cut off from town, and I had also decided to start the Chinese New Year with a detox / cleanse: phase one no caffeine, sugar, processed food or alcohol adding wheat and dairy after I had recovered from the caffeine withdrawals, so my fridge was full of healthy goodies.

Without my daily caffeine fix I was immobilised by the very first afternoon with a migraine like headache, which lasted  for three days. At least the torrential rain was a valid excuse to put aside other plans and surrender to the detox, rest, drink dandy chai, green tea and green smoothies. By the end of the second day I was experiencing lower back pain (kidneys?) and cramps that felt like first stage labour  (I’m not kidding). Was all this withdrawal from my beloved morning latte? It appeared so!

The weather and the forecast were unrelenting so I sat down and finally did my Profit & Loss for the last six months which I had been avoiding and cursing for a couple of weeks. I just did it!

I kept walking the dog every day so that he would not go stir crazy too and one morning the rain was so heavy that my gumboots filled with water, as did the pocket on my man size wet weather anorak. Once again I surrendered to that over which I had no control, the squelch of my waterlogged feet in rhythm with the bubbling tarmac and the constant rain falling through the trees, so that I felt like I was in a giant waterfall. Not a bird could be heard, nothing but water. It was quite beautiful and a fitting tribute to the dragon!

Looking back over the week I thought I had achieved very little (P&L aside) just dealing with leaking fireplaces and moving damp towels around to catch a breeze and moving strings of chilli’s that were drying on the veranda inside and finally dried in a slow oven to prevent mould. I realised that I had got through the worst of the detox, which I had committed to do. This is my fiftieth year on the planet and being the auspicious 2012 I felt that a massive cleanse, de-clutter and detox was necessary to clear some space for mental and physical clarity, and to focus on where I want to go and who I want to be for the next half of my life ... unlike the first half which was largely an exercise in spontaneity, impulsiveness and serendipity!

“The most important agreements we make are the ones we make with ourselves”
                                                                                                         (p15 Don Miguel Ruiz “The fifth Agreement”)


Any commitment that I (and you) make will only have efficacy if I make it first and foremost with myself, knowing why I am making that choice. Through my ongoing study and practice of NLP I believe that we do this through symbology, through our language, through what we think and how we articulate. So this year, I am committing to watching my words, the ones that come out of my mouth, and that ones that run around in my head.

 “Every one of us uses the word to form opinions to express our point of view … we create the story of our own lives … every one of us has a story that we share, a message that we deliver to ourselves and everyone and everything around us"                                                                                                              (p28, DMR)

I am also admitting to being commitment phobic! I am a pro at making excuses, needing more and more information, endlessly analysing things, voraciously reading the self development books etc going “Yeah! Great! I get it, sounds feasible”… and doing nothing about it! So this is what this blog is really about … putting it down in black and white and sending it out on the WWW, so if I fail to keep my word I will do so publically. I also want to be able to give my clients as a coach, tools that I myself have used, experienced and found to work.

Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Fourth Agreement is a great place to start with some wise assistance, it’s small, it’s easy to read, there are only four simple agreements to learn and keep, simple but NOT easy, and therefore suitably challenging and stretching of your comfort zone.

The first agreement is:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD.

Now being a word nerd and consulting my Chambers dictionary, the word impeccable means “faultless, without flaw or error, incapable of sin”. That sounds like a tough call and going into religious territory again … so lets back out and look at what that can mean in a down to earth, practical way. Ask yourself;

How am I using words to describe myself, my world?

When I look in the mirror do I like what I see; or do I judge my body, my height, my features, or my hair?

Am I using words to judge myself?

Do I use words against myself by speaking negatively?

Do I gossip about myself enhancing dramas, spreading emotional poison?

Do I whinge and complain about myself, create self-judgement, inner conflict and self- rejection?

Do I use words in anger to belittle someone else (creating a like reaction in the other person against me)?

Do I use insults to create conflict, defensiveness?

It's time to get real with yourself, to 'fess up and look at how you are using your words against yourself and others, not for good but for more drama, so you can hang around being a victim and not take responsibility for what is coming out of you! 
    
The bible says something along the lines that of out of the excesses of the heart the mouth speaks… the words we use have force, intent, power. We re-create the reality we perceive with our words.

“The word as a symbol has the magic and power of creation because it can reproduce an image, an idea, a feeling or an entire story in your imagination” (p35 DMR)

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) also stresses the importance of language as an integral part of the process of thought / consciousness and the way we interact and communicate. What we say and how we say it affects ourselves, and the people we come into contact with. 

In the fifties, linguist, political activist and philosopher Noam Chomsky also proposed that we create our own individual model of the world by the way we filter our experience through our own set patterns of thought (language). We generalise, delete or distort what we perceive through our particular ingrained patterns and conditioning. It has no bearing on truth and has more to do with our interpretations of events.

That is why it is so important to become aware of your words, the phrases you use automatically, habitually. Look out for when you preface a sentence with … I always  … I never … I should … I can’t … Every time I …  whatever follows you can be sure is a distorted perception or limiting belief.

What about that wishy-washy, non-committal language … I guess … I might … maybe …but … I’ll try … I’m OK … not bad … possibly … It ain't going to happen !

Look out for well-worn phrases, clichés, meaningless fillers  (avoiding something?) and judgements that echo in your head (why is it that we remember the negative comments and not the praise?). Firstly be aware of how you speak against yourself, in your head or muttering, “I hate my …”, “You’re so stupid…” etc.   Are you just too damn hard on yourself? 

I believe being impeccable with your word starts with giving yourself a break, being a little bit more compassionate with yourself, acknowledging your successes daily, no matter how small, focusing on what is right rather than what is wrong. Perhaps we need to nourish and nurture ourselves with gratitude, acceptance and forgiveness and start to create a kinder, gentler world than the hectic one we have all colluded in creating with its interminable stresses.

In the beginning was the word and the word became flesh, action, and matter?

Make your words count, speak out words that create beauty and hope, believe that they have power and no matter what life throws at you choose to live life the second way …

“There are only two ways to live your life. One as though nothing is a miracle. The other as though everything is a miracle”
                                                                                                                                           Albert Einstein.
”Now is the time when we must develop an intimate and close relationship with ourselves, taking the time to listen to our inner voices and acting in ways that bring out the best in ourselves.”
                                                                                                                                             Debbie Ford 
The very first conversation you have to have is with yourself.

Tomorrow is Chinese New Year and I believe a better time to really tackle those New Year resolutions you made January first ... if you did? Lets face it in Australia and probably in many other countries a lot of people, businesses and services just aren't back on board, in full swing and up and running (to throw just a few well worn cliches your way). If you have children you are probably trying desperately to keep them gainfully occupied and not glued to their iPods. You have probably resolved that if you are going to start that new fitness regime, detox/cleanse, writing schedule etc that this month is probably not the easiest ... excuses, excuses, excuses ... but don't be too hard on yourself ( you may think I'm talking to myself here and you'd be right but I KNOW it applies to you as well! Just change the details) after all timing is key in anything ... along with attitude and commitment ,,, along with planning and preparation.
 
I am sitting in my toilet right now, not the place where I usually write and although it is clean and has a gold feature wall , a moon cycle calendar AND a serene buddha, I am here for the wise and profound sayings, images and poems that my family and i can meditate on daily ... The Seven Secrets of Success (Deepak), The Nine Insights ( Celestine prophecies), The Seven Secrets of Magic (author not acknowledged on my wall), a bit of Eckhart Tolle, Leunig ...the usual suspects ... to encourage me when my monkey-mind starts spinning good yarns and not so resourceful ones.